Today, I mark the day I received full confidence in figuring out the relations of charged particles. The individual steps in the computation of the forces of charged particles is relatively simple (relative to the understanding of basic vector algebra, geometry and trigonometry), but I had a lot of trouble conceptualizing the math, as is normal for me.
Fortunately, this mental deficiency generally means I get a greater feeling of accomplishment concerning what others would consider daily epiphanies. It feels good, and it makes me excited.

This is only in math/physics however, and with those peaks have been valleys of depression when I think about the love I have for languages. It tortures me that I spend so much time with this mistress when my loyalty should be to what I’ve loved since I was a child. It pains me to think I will now take another path toward my future; the divergence feels dirty to me.

With time comes change, and we have to embrace it. Somewhere inside of me wishes that I had a confident understanding of how to tackle languages, and with that be able to pursue what I first set out to do with stoicism. To counteract this feeling, I keep a laundry list of who I am so that it cannot define me. With that and a bit of childish justification, the majority of the time it doesn’t bother me; yet I still write about it.

I have pushed aside programming a bit because of this fascination with electricity (brought about by the Christmas gift given to me by my fiancee), but I will work through the rest of the Java book I have for the next month until school starts again. I think I should be able to finish the Java book, and maybe half of the MIT course on Electricity and Magnetism. Maybe if I just put some Japanese on in the background while studying I won’t feel so bad, haha.

Anywho, today is a good day because I have a good understanding of a fundamental physical law. I will be moving on to mastering electric fields next and then continuous charge which will allow me to use some of the Calculus I learned last semester. After that comes what I’ve been waiting for, which is Gauss’s Law and then I will probably make another post of achievement.

Here are the materials I’ve implicitly and explicitly mentioned in this post:

Physics Book: http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Scientists-Engineers-Modern-4th/dp/0131495089

Java Book: http://www.amazon.com/Building-Java-Programs-Basics-Approach/dp/0136091814/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357588145&sr=1-1&keywords=reges+java

Christmas Present (Electronics Learning Lab): http://www.radioshack.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3814337

MIT Courses: (E&M) http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/physics/8-02-electricity-and-magnetism-spring-2002/index.htm and (Vector Calculus) http://ocw.mit.edu/resources/res-18-007-calculus-revisited-multivariable-calculus-fall-2011/part-ii/